Friday, July 29, 2005

I've had worse


I was "treated" to a bag of these tonight and I must say that I am amazed by three things: 1) These actually exist on a physical plane of existence. 2) They really do taste like Heinz brand Tomato Ketchup and 3) I didn't gag upon inhaling the sweet/heady aroma that arose like a ketchup death cloud when the bag opened.

I have loved condiments all of my life and some are easier to digest than others. I could inhale salt for instance. If it were not for salt, I would just as well face life as a vegetarian. I think that it is salt that makes all non-veg dishes edible. My thinking goes like this: To me, salt does nothing for vegetables and since I love salt...I eat meat. Okay, it's not as simple as that but it works for me. I especially love garlic salt. Oooooooh! My mom will regale about the days she was forced to carry around her little miniature tupperware shaker of garlic salt for whenever we visited any one of the famous steak house chains; it is a necessity in my life.

Oh, but I am getting off course. Some condiments are just fine to think about as being a "flavor." I think that was where I was going with my salt tangent. Another example is mustard. Remember in the early through late 90's when mustard popped up in everything? You couldn't buy a chip or pretzel without there being a honey-mustard version prominently displayed on the shelves. Ketchup I'm afraid should be relegated to the condiment "station" and not placed as a flavoring on the shelves. It is well documented that the European community has taken Mayonnaise to new heights, well beyond that of it's American condiment status, but are we Yanks the ones trying to fill the niche left by the last of the big 3 condiments as a "flavor?" I hope not. Personally, while eating these chips, I couldn't escape the hideous mental picture of downing spoonfulls of the thick, red syrup-like substance every time I took a bite. But then again...I've had worse.

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