Saturday, May 05, 2007

Scooter Goes To Coachella

Hello there! My name is Scooter and I'm a Muppet. I am usually behind the scenes taking care of the hectic goings on at the theater where we normally have a pretty busy variety show in full swing. It's not unusal to find things like cannons, dynamite, boomerang fish and flashy art rock featured on any given show. My Uncle, and theater owner, J.P. Grosse recently sent me to California with my clipboard in hand to see if I can find some fresh new talent for our show. You can only get so much of Linda Rondstadt and Debbie Boone before we all loose it. I've heard a lot about the Coachella Music and Art Festival so I headed out with nothing but my clipboard, my trusty satin jacket and an extra pair of socks.
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I've been listening to a lot of Hot Chip, Teddybears and Rufus Wainwright lately, plus they all remind me a little of the gang at the Muppet Theater, (electronic mayhem, giant bears and questionable dandies respectively). Oh, and that girl Peaches is also playing! She kind of reminds me of Janice. Funny thing, she was on the show once. She shaved Sweetums. What a nice girl.
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Here I am at the airport. There were lots of scary people there. Lots of of really important looking men in Dockers drinking $10 coffee from Nathan's Hot Dogs and looking at pr0n on the free wireless.
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All buckled in. The legroom on my flight was amazing and I encountered some of the friendliest stewardesses offering various juices and synthetic biscotti. The movie was intriguing. Some girl with enormous teeth teaches innercity kids to freedom write although I am not sure if they were doing it because she was persuasive or if they were just afraid that if they didn't comply she would start monologing.
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The wings on this bird were enormous. I need to remember to respect Big Bird a little more and possibly expect him to carry a little more weight given my new perspective on wingspan and physics.
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Finally here! Somehow they moved the Alamo to near Indio. Unfortunately I won't have time to visit but I heard it's nice.
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The people life here at Coachella is amazing! Here I am with....well, I never got their name but I bet Gonzo knows them. I never did get to ask them where they put their change.
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It seemed that Miss Amy Winehouse drew quite a crowd. Her sound was a throw back to the nifty fifties with a little bit of punk thrown in. Visually though, she threw back about a fifth of vodka with a little bit of puke thrown in. I was about to pull out my clipboard and approach her management based on her amazing hair acrobatics alone but I figured we have enough lushes in Dr. Teeth's band as it is.
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Part of the charm of Coachella is the nifty art displays. It took me about 20 minutes before I realized that this "hair maze" was really just the locks of some very pretty girl who was catching some rays listening to the Decemberists. Pardon me miss!
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Run away! Run away!
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I normally don't eat hot dogs but the heat here would drive anyone to do crazy things. Thank goodness I found some great vegetarian fare. I was this close to eating the grass! There was a lot of it all around me constantly.
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Some of the yummy baked yam that I procured at one of the pleasant food vendors at the festival. My second favorite was the delicious sno cones!
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Finally night falls and the crowd starts getting busy! Speaking of getting busy, where'd that girl with the hair go to? I want to rock out with a pretty girl on my arm!
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Apparently Girl Talk is only a name. However, I had quite a toe-tappingly good time here with some lovely young lady named Paris. She had glasses the size of small saucers.
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The Teddybears rocked and they weren't even made of felt!
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Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I'm so exhausted!

Nooooooo! I don't want to go home! I haven't been able to book one band, I was having such a good time I left my clipboard in the Port-O-Let!
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Sleep sneaks up on me like a puppeteer's hand. What a great trip. My head is so full of fun memories....
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...I dreamt that I was once again chasing the rock and roll dream and that tall blonde headed beauty as we walked through the lush green grass of the Empire Polo field one last time.
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Someday Scooter will find it, the rainbow connection...

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy that Scooter tasted my yam.