Friday, January 13, 2006

The Skinny Idol - Begin The Begin

Hey! It's that time of year again. And since The Skinny Tie Report is not even 1 year old yet, I guess saying "It's that time of year again" is a little redundant ... or indulgent ... I'm not sure. But either way, long before I started blogging about crap, I was watching crap and writing about it! Funny huh? Ironic, no? Should you care? YES!!!
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Beginning this Tuesday, American Idol takes back the airwaves and for about 4 months my life is a living hell trying to fit in work, regular TV, bathroom visits, melon squeezing, Skinny Tie reporting and those darn A.I. recaps.

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Why do I do it you ask? Is American Idol still relevant? What are you getting out of this?! Simply my friends: Because I wrote one of these recaps once and people wouldn't let it go, if it's pop culture ... I'm there, and finally, nothing!!!!
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So beginning this week I will be devoting small (read: large and unwieldy) portions of the STR to my American Idol recaps. It works as a bit of a creative writing utility for me, so take it or leave it, I will post them for posterity should you want to find something actually amusing associated with this, well .... atrocious show rather than take it for actual face value. And I say that with the upmost respect and above all, love for Ryan Seacrest. Of course I jest. Heavily.
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Scoop! The Skinny Tie Report has it on good authority that Betamike personally knows one of the 24 American Idol Finalists this season! Good authority would of course be the internet and Betamike is typically not one to speak in third person.
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[source: Mtv] Paula Abdul thinks that the upcoming fifth season of American Idol may be the strongest season yet, "so it's kind of exciting for us," she told People magazine. "It's the first season we've had strong males and strong females together." She wants to warn female viewers, though, that they should watch at their own risk, since two of the contestants will make them swoon once they sing. "The one girls are gonna fall in love with is Ace," she said. "Man, oh, man, girls are going to fall in love with him. And a guy named Patrick, too. They both have great voices." American Idol premieres January 17 at 8 p.m. on FOX.
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The Patrick she mentions would be Patrick Hall who grew up with me and my sister in sleepy little Gravette, Arkansas, USA. Of course Gravette will most likely be re-billed as Bentonville since Wal-Mart has this affect on anything within 100 miles of it vortex; Gravette being a mere 20 miles away. But I'm not a hater.
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Patrick is a great guy. He's son of the town doctor, brother of my high school science teacher, pianist and vocalist at our small church, one time boyfriend of my sister and a heck of a swimmer (Patrick and I helped Gravette achieve victory in the breast stroke relays one summer). Of course Patrick is very tight lipped about any of these rumors and declined to comment for the Skinny Tie Report but then turned and invited my sister to his house this Tuesday to "watch him sing." I'm a hater.
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This could still all be a horrid ruse that will make me have the gout in about a week but interestingly, the domain name PatrickHallOfficial.com was recently registered and well, it's hard to keep a secret in a small town don-cha know.
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Just as exciting was the mention of another name that Betamike might also know, Laura Wright. Sadly the website also mentioned that she was cut from the competition and also sadly, no mention that her middle initial was "J." If you are down with Betamike then you knows whats I means. Oh, and if you clicked that last link, I might have wanted to warn you that it contains SPOILERS on who the top 24 turn out to be! You can also find that information regurgitated here.
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Important Idol Dates:
Feb 15 - Top 24 Revealed
Feb 23 - First Live Results Show
March 14 - Top 12 perform live
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See you soon kidlets!

3 comments:

James said...

Yea! I love this time of year! What would AI be without your recaps? Honestly, I wasn't all that thrilled about another season but now my interest is piqued...a Betamike connection to a possible finalist, Paula's use of the word "swoon", and "Laura Wright"... Wow! This ride could be better than Everest!

Libby said...

Michael - as if I wasn't excited enough already about another season of Idol, along comes "Skinny Tiedol." I'm obsessed already.

Dani said...

I just stumbled across your blog and bookmarked it because I like reading the blogs of other Idol fans. Plus I'm an Orlando-ian. Orlando-er? too. :)