Wednesday, May 03, 2006

American Idol 05/03/06 - Paris Is Burning

My laptop crashed while trying to capture the essence of tonight's Skinny Tiedol but I think I retained enough in my digital oblongata to give you the squeezins if not the pure extract.
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First up is the fierce group sing-a-long of "We Are One." This one sounded almost as bad as McPhee's near death experience on stage with "Against All Odds" last night...almost. There were different keys going on at the same time, the five of them were never in time, dogs and cats, living together,...mass hysteria!!
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Ford Fauxmmercial
"Hollywood Swinging" is the song tonight. Never heard of it. This one is shades of the other one they did where they were walking down the block when they handed out ice cream or candy or whatever. Same fake street. Hey! Same leather biker! Except this time the punctuation at the end of the song is the ridiculous hair that Paris has on and the utterly insane football shoulder pads that they make Taylor wear...for no apparent reason. This song has nothing to do with swinging! I want my money back!!!! After the fauxmmercial, Ryan says "Thanks to you Taylor, I'll never wear shoulder pads again." You'd expose your darkest secrets for a joke wouldn't you Secrets!
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Taylor and Chris, the two strongest performances from last night are safe. Paris is clearly in the bottom three we already know but I am shocked and dismayed over the choice of Elliott over McStinkypoo for the other contestant in the bottom two.
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Here's a little Idol secret: Even though they don't really tell the Idols who is going to be kicked off that evening, I hear tell that there is an air of foreboding and odd little "you know" looks all day toward the contestant with the lowest votes from the Producers, staffers, judges, gaffers, lighting guys, grips, stylists, janitor, mail guy, Starbucks barista.... basically, they know what is coming down the pike. Katherine clearly looked McSick tonight every time the camera panned toward her. So then when Ryan announced that Elliott was in the bottom two, you could see her fight the urge to smile really big. I think it's funny that she might not think her poo doesn't stink. Oh, because it does sweetie, it doooooes.
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Paris and Elliott do amazing jobs singing their birth year songs (Paris more amazing as she sings flawlessly despite Ryan glomming on the camera under the guise of "helping her" with her mic). After a nail biting (doh!) few seconds, it is revealed that Paris is going home. I can't say that I am surprised. After such an amazing audition, she let theatrics and poor song selection get in the way of honing what she does best. But this is one Idol I wouldn't mind seeing pop up in some unexpected places.
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Sail on Paris! Sail on!

1 comment:

James said...

Yea! Elliott skated past another elimination! Here's to hanging onto false hopes! (We all know the final two are going to be Taylor & Chris)