The Fourth of Judas

I celebrated the anniversary of our Country's independence like any other red-blooded American would. I slept until 11 o'clock, stopped by Sonic for a grape Slush and ended my day watching Burnt Offerings on DVR (it was honestly the only thing worth watching tonight).

!Trying to avoid every major roadway that would lend itself to pick-up trucks full of drunk...Patriots(?) and avoiding the East Coast like Star Jones, I found myself in the hills of rural Florida (yeah, no drunks in recreational vehicles there). From this country fried location I was able to clearly see the shuttle launch without having to sit in traffic...of any kind.

The great thing about living in America is that we have clouds! I am pretty sure we corner the market on this. I was listening to NPR today and I think Terry Gross pretty much confirmed this. Also great about America is "lawn art." I saw at least 8 of those wooden fat ladies bent over gardening today. You know, the ones that show off their polka-dotted bloomers!

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The 4th of July is also about bonding with your family. I love my girl Olive and she loves staring at people outside in the Park. I saw many families bonding today. A lot of them had just come from Wal-Mart with a fully stocked cooler and lawn chairs and were eagerly awaiting the cover of night so that they could handle explosives without detection inside the city ordinance. This is where Olive and the people part ways.

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Betamike and J-Slacks finish off a truly ham-tacular salute to all countries (but mostly America) with some tasty retro, square school pizza! I ask the Lord for forgiveness for not having the energy to write out my name with a sparkler this year.