Monday, July 02, 2007

Geek Squirt!



Somehow, I don't know...because I've been really good lately or let some old lady out in front of me during rush hour, I was privileged to get a ticket to see Transformers tonight. Two whole days before it officially rolls out to theaters everywhere.
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Why here? Why in the shitty Fiesta Bay maze-o-plex? Why do the movie versions of my beloved Transformers suddenly make me have a severe case of Belonephobia? How freaking cool was this shit! All of these questions still unanswered save the last one....very!
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Maybe it's nigh 20 years of pent up daydreaming (gasp! what if my Transformers were Reeeeal!) or maybe it's simply the fact that what could have been the final nail on the coffin of my youth, which I have wrapped in nostalgia and preserved like a pharaohs organs, turned out to be quite pleasant.
Of course there were the over-the-top Michael Bay eccentricities that one would assume would come with a Michael Bay film but the mere touch of Steven Spielberg somehow reeled it all back from the abyss, like Starscream foiling another of Megatron's plans, if you will.
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If I weren't already almost 35 years old and without kids, I might have balked a little on the frequent loss of life, use of the middle finger and open talk of...masterbation, but come on. Over half of the fan boys in the place knew exactly what that parent to son conversation was all about. Am I right boys? Boys?
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Yes, yes...there are far too few actual Autobots and Decepticons for my personal gratification and the ones they did choose (Ironhide??) had a few things left to be desired, primarily the fact that Bumblebee isn't a (say it with me) VW Bug. But a few digs here and there, riffs off of the old cartoon thrown in for good measure and a huge dose of powerhouse voices such as original Transformer actors Peter Cullen, Charles Adler and some surprising "new" ones (Hugo Weaving!!) gave this film just enough gravitas to make my heart sing and appreciate every little pot hole I dodged on my way home in my little (say it with me) VW Bug.
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