Saturday, July 02, 2005

I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies on Ryan Seacrest's star

I knew I was on to something way before anyone else...rarely does this happen. If anyone was watching this last season of American Idol you know that Ryan "The Head" Seacrest got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...A FREAKIN' STAR!!! Yeah, you have to pay for them yourself and all, but what got me was that it was for "his contributions to radio." Whatever. No really, whatever.

And the fact that he had to pay for it himself really just drives home the fact that he is indeed his own biggest fanboy. I'm just worried about all the freaks out there that actually worship this guy and buy into all the googly crap that he throws their way. I'm not afraid to say it, I watch American Idol. I watch because I like writing my little recaps after each episode which gives me a chance to write some great sarchastic pop culture-soaked diatribe that makes me giggle as I type it. Otherwise, I would totally keep this little morsel to myself and never let anyone know that I watch. Suffice it to say, Ryan Seacrest is absolutely the worst thing about the show.

Well, apparently other folks have been harboring this long hatred of Seacrest and his overly-inflated sense of self. There is now a Blogger (of course) called
Assistant/Atlas offering $50 to the first person to poop on Ryan Seacrest's star. Bitchin'! Not that I condone making the streets of Hollywood smell like those in Bollywood, but I love the symbolism of it all. Poop indeed. I'm sure the reaction he is looking for is, "boy won't Ryan be pissed!" Well, clearly they got some reaction as it has been featured on the Ryan Seacrest of all tabloid shows, Celebrity Justice. Apparently there is a city ordinance against defecating in public which carries a $1,000 fine and jail time. A policy on pooping in public? Go figure! It's really easy to find, right on the corner of Hollywood and Highland at the Kodak Theater, very public...he paid for some prime real estate folks. Given the fact that I found myself in L.A. this past May with an evening to kill, I couldn't resist stopping by to pay my own homage to the King of Mediocrity. Upon retrospect, I probably shouldn't have licked the ground. I was feeling saucy, what can I say?

I'm not advising anyone to do poop on Ryan Seacrest's star or to even harbor the thought, I know I'm way too potty shy to do such a thing, but as soon as I heard about this, I had to share!

Hmmm, smells okay I guess. that corn?

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