Thursday, September 15, 2005

Sexy Tiger

I'm in one of those moods. I feel stretched thin emotionally, underappreciated and overworked. In actuality I'm as happy-go-lucky as ever, loved by friends and family and have a cake job, but for me personally, this has been a trying week. And since I want to keep things hot and juicy over here at The Skinny, I have finally succumbed to the need to share with you one of those infamous internet questionnaires ala' What Makes You Tick Betamike? In this case however, I created my own questions so shut it.
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What's at the bottom of your trashcan? My God!!! Who thought up these questions!!! Well, let me go check..... (after about 10 minutes sifting and another 10 disinfecting my hands). It appears that a Dannon Peach yogurt container makes the cut although by the looks of it a packet of Duck sauce could have landed there at the same time....they were at about the same spot.
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Who is your favorite TV Talk Show host? I really am not into the Talk Show scene and I would have to say that I would be hard pressed to vote any of them as "favorite." Why does everyone feel the need to attempt one? I have caught Martha Stewart's new show and she has impressed me with her letting down of the hairs. Oh! Does Beyond with James Van Praagh count? It was hilarious to see him channel ghosts with that lisp.
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What is your favorite dance move? You really know how to hurt someone don't you. I am very clearly as white as they come, dancing is not something I pride myself on; but since you asked, my favorite move is something that my friend Christy calls "country girl on crack." It is a mixture of running in place and the Charleston. As a side note, if I had one wish it would to be to master the Charleston. It was so kick ass when the Brady's did it in their living room, I would entertain myself for hours!
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Have you ever broken anything? Please, I can hardly break a sweat. Haaaaaaaaaaaa! Sigh.... Well, I have broken my left arm after falling off of a real live racing horse when I was thirteen (I didn't win anything) and then at about sixteen I broke my jaw which in turn punctured my eardrum. I was very much into hardcore street fighting back then.
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What is your least favorite word? I firmly believe that you cannot have just one, although there are many lady friends of mine who swear that there is one word that they can't stand. Me? I dislike the word "puce." A close second are actually two words: Raisin glaze. The glands under my jaw start working overtime when I hear that as my mom once used a raisin glaze on a ham when I was about seven and ill and.....I think I have to stop.
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What is your least favorite sound? Not to be intentionally snarky or to use this as a platform but right about now it is the sound of George Bush's voice. Can I just say that he could say "Amurica, I'm a dumb ass" and I still wouldn't feel any better about the sound of his voice, he's a horrible speaker and it's just grating and insincere.
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What is your shoe size? Nine or Nine and 1/2 depending on the shoe manufacturer. Why?
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Do you have any regrets? You can always debate what has happened in the past but you know what, I'd be too dumb to make a different choice should I do anything all over again. I would like to have seen what would have become of that film career I was offered by that guy in the beat up van about ten years ago, at the time I just took the candy and ran. Why on earth would you want to know my shoe size?
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If you could pick one person to have dinner with living or dead who would it be? I would have to say John Waters. If not just for the interesting conversation and inspiration of being with such an avant guard person, you just know that somewhere along the way 1) someone would be insulted 2) something obscene would be made of the rump roast and vegetable medley and 3) someone might, just might, eat dog shit.
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What is the thing that currently bugs you the most? I have to pick just one?! I've already talked about my frustrations with the soda vending machine but running a close second is not being able to navigate my Blackberry. I'm pride myself on being 100% nerd core and I can't even earn my nerd scout badge by figuring this thing out! Also, why would you need to know my shoe size over anything else about me?
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Who are your favorite actor/actresses? Yeah! A fun question! I simply love (in no particular order) Alan Cumming, Richard E. Grant, Justin Theroux and Jake Gyllenhaal. These actors always bring their game and have made some very smart, interesting choices. As for the ladies, I would have to say Parker Posey, Meryl Streep and Beatrice Arthur (this surprises you).
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What is your favorite color? Purple definitely but oddly I hate anything grape flavored.
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What is your favorite number? I am very much into numbers and my favorite is the number 9. Interesting, does this have something to do with my shoe size? Seriously, it is so hard to maintain my balance in size 9 shoes what with my extremely large hands and big ears.
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What is your last big purchase? Sadly, a combo microwave/toaster/oven that practically jumped off the shelf at Linens & Things at me. I then ran and told the clerk that an applance had come to life! She knocked twenty dollars off the price since it was the floor model and I took it home.
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Are you OCD about anything? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. (was that an even number?)
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Are you OCD about anything? This is probably a blog unto itself but I have a mild case of what is called Synaesthesia where much of what I hear (usually as individual words) appear with a color attached to it in my mind, it is always present with numbers. For instance, the number 8 is always black to me and the word Monday is always blue. Puce is always puce which grosses me out! Does anyone remember the puce scene from Santa Claus: The Movie? "It's called puce juice!"
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Do you have any guilty pleasures? If you have been reading The Skinny Tie Report for any length of time I think you know the answer to this. My current obsession is browsing people's online photo albums such as Webshots or Flickr for Disney vacation photos just so I can see either my friends or my own Cast in the background. Santa Claus is watchin' you!!!
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Have you ever killed a man just to watch him die? No. Everyone seems to do it now so I'm not a poser. I did accidentally undercooked some hamburgers one time and haven't heard the end of it from "someone."
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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? If we are talking actual licks, I've never tried because I'm a sucker, not a biter. I do know that it's like nails on a chalkboard when anyone bites into a Blow-pop or Tootsie pop or any kind of hard candy that isn't meant to be bitten into but rather dissolved by the body's wonderful mouth chemistry. I hated that Tootsie Roll Pop commercial.
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Who is truly sexy? Mister Burt Reynolds
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Who is truly outrageous? Jem!

What invention has made your life better? Definitely my iPod. I am a music fetishist and my iPod is like a breathing apparatus to me. Now if it could only interface to Blogger...
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Who blows your mind? Since I was just listening to him today, Rufus Wainwright. How can someone be so amazingly gifted?
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Who is your favorite Golden Girl? What? Are these questions planted? Dorothy without a doubt. Joe Mamaaaa!
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What is your favorite candy? I don't have much of a sweet tooth but if I was dropped in one of those obnoxious bulk candy stores and left for dead, I would probably gravitate toward the gummi bins. I am partial to the (as previously posted) smaller sized Haribo Golden gummi. At the movies I can't help but indulge in my favorite movie candy of all time, Red Twizzlers. By some odd book end irony my least favorite food in the world is black licorice. I'm talking vomit-on-command if I get a whiff of that stuff.
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Are you calm or impatient? I am a ball of energy inside but by nature I am pretty easy going although I feel like I am getting more impatient each day...mostly with technology when it doesn't work. Is it too much to ask to have everything load on a MySpace page without refreshing it a billion times? Sometimes you have to really stick with it just to get a band's mp3 player to work. Also, the just released version of iTunes...piece of crap. You have to also download a new version of Firmware in case you haven't gone through this hell yet, why can't anything be simple?
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When is your favorite time of the day? Just before sunset when the light is golden and the shadows are all distorted.
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Do you know any other languages? I am fluent in hick, minored in Pop Culture, conversational in Russian, love to talk Art History, and still chat with my G.I. Joes.
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Can you cook? I am kitchen illiterate. I am not allowed in the kitchen.
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Is Satan real? Yes because Ryan Seacrest's career seems to be going just fine.
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What's that smell? I'm very olfactory, it's the most acute of the five senses. I connect a lot of memories through smell. One of my favorite smells is that weird railroad tar smell, it reminds me of Silver Dollar City.
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No seriously dude, what's that smell? Crap! It's my popcorn burning....Gotta go!

5 comments:

crit said...

OMG!!!!!! Have you seen MY blog? Holy Schnolis.

stephanie said...

betamike, I laughed out loud, as usual, at your exceptional writing skills and the unique way you express yourself! You are so cool, and I am so honored to be one of lucky ones you count as friends. *sigh* will you be mine forever?

betamike said...

Betamike ---> Stephanie's

stephanie said...

Good! Now, another question ... you mentioned the crappy new version of iTunes. I can't seem to burn anything since I downloaded the new version. Did you have that same problem, and what did you do to fix it? Thanks!
Steph
xoxox

betamike said...

If you do a search for "iPod Firmware" you should find a patch on Apple's site that fixes any problems with the new version. I haven't personally had a burning sensation yet but I'll try tonight and see if I do. Also, a REALLY REALLY REALLY great forum is
http://www.ilounge.com/
They cover everything!