Sunday, November 27, 2005

Thankswhatever

To quote a line from my friend Christy: "Boooo!" Not the scary kind of "boo" that can really only be used once a year without getting a grimace from someone but "booo!" As in, the ultimate smarmy, smart-aleck way of saying the ultimate "I detest!" Which I do. Right now. Anyway.
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Oh, of course this is not to concern you that Christy is smarmy or smart-alecky or anything.
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How about "boo," I spent the last four days DOWN in the bed, on the couch, the bathroom floor, subterranean. If it wasn't for the fact that I live two stories up, I could say I was down further to make it sound worse but "BOO" to that too dammit! No, thanks to being the first person I know to catch the Asiatic bird flu or something, I got to skip Thanksgiving and go right to Thanksregretting. Oooooh, I was the essence of a holy man. Water, food and the joy of the season just passed right through me. I was a sieve!

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"BOO" snarl. Because of my leprosy I had to miss out on seeing Tegan and Sara at the Social this past Friday. HOW COOL WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN? Because I too was walking with a ghost. But "Yeah!" that my pal James Gash was still able to hook up with the Sunlandic twins Christy and Stephanie at the gig and hopefully had a great time there.
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In my drift in and out of consciousness, I couldn't help but notice the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade this year. "Booo" What was this horrible opportunity for a garillion little Mr. and Ms. Attitudes who have all apparently seen "Band Camp" one too many times pushing their way in front of the camera in their salute to the Holidays under the banner of Camp Broadway Kids? I know they are kids and are ... gosh ... going to be really really big on Broadway someday but do I have to pick them out now? There are so many to choose from! I do my annual little mental game of "are they lipsynching" (which could be the easiest drinking game of the year) but my attention was immediately destroyed when I saw some 9 year old girl do the chest/crotch press to the camera without even blinking an eye. Give this girl a loft apartment, a gay best friend roommate and an ounce of coke and I may have just picked out the one that'll beat 'em all to the chorus line.
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"UhhhBoo!" to making me think that Cindy Crawford knows anything about furniture! I know, I know, I am not the one who is going to buy into that crap but still, I worry about the way stuff actually looks and really, did I just watch a furniture commercial from 1997? Not really just because of the "daring" furniture combinations but ... she sort of was still kind of famous back then.
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"BOO" to the MAN for putting the Evans family down. All I remember about Good Times as a kid was that crappy apartment, easel and paint set, scary J.J. and little miss Janet Jackson. Until my recent bed rest and a TV Land marathon I did not know that in about every episode they were on the verge of being evicted, the dad dies after about 2 seasons, Janet Jackson's character was only a minor blip in the shows history and life for these poor folks just plain sucked. If it weren't to sound too white guiltish, I did begin to feel a bit better after watching these episodes. Regardless of white guilt, I just couldn't stomach the scenes where the kids got down to K.C and The Sunshine Band over the record player in the living room. It's hard to watch anything that happened in youth culture before break dancing.
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"Booooooo." "Boo" "Boo" "Boo" to this past week. "Boo" to the whole black friday business (which I refuse to give CAPS to). Thanks for offering great deals when I have no money. "Boo" to Orlando on making it onto NPR. The only time that I can remember. Not because of our local arts scene, quaint story core piece, or conservational initiative. No, becaaaaaause some idiot, who truly reflects the nature of most around here, got into some scuffle at a damn Wal-Mart over some marked down Bratz dolls. "Boo."
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Most of all, "Boo" to me and all this negative energy. See ya next time!

1 comment:

crit said...

i was so bummed that you missed the concert. so much so, that we didn't go to the photobooth in your honor.

BOO!