Oscar Weekend

The big game.
..........Not THE big game but if you hate sports like I do, it's pretty close.
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The Academy Awards.

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Clearly I have no vested interest in who looks most like they fell into a vat of Guthy Renker or whose vagine crack is showing on this night of who cares-ness, but I do find it slightly more interesting than say, Sci-Fi's original programming on any given night (Earthstorm anyone?)
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It gives me somethin' to do and I can finally replace awkward weather banter at the water cooler with a game of "guess who probably stinks more...Peter O'Toole or Martin Scorsese's jungle-ish ear hair?"
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But really the Oscars (I always think of hot dogs) are more about an excuse to take the weekend off and just let your bowels relax as absolutely nothing in the world important is going to happen because rich people in Hollywood are getting buffed, waxed and bedazzled on this holiest of holy nights. This of course gives me an excuse to take pictures of the mindlessness of it all.
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I began the day meeting up with some friends at the one place on Earth I would run to if zombies invaded. The mall.
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It's amazing how many babies people will let you hold if you only tell them you are about to run in the Iowa Caucus.
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!It's also amazing how many people will pose in pictures with you if you take said baby and wonder around the mall promising a free photo opportunity. All you need is to leave a license with the mother...or some Chick-Fil-A coupons.

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An arty close-up of some glass grapes!

.....just "because."
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Thanks to all the fresh air (or the two Wild Turkey and Cokes I had) the mood struck me to go all out and entertain this year for the Academy Awards!
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I've never hosted anything like this before and I hated soliciting my friends to do any dry runs on.
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isn't the term "dry runs" funny?!

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Finding some Freinds!
!!I I looked everywhere. On such short notice there just isn't much to pick from. I mean this IS Oscar night! So I tried to find people that wouldn't much care about "television", "best sound editing" or "Jesus" and broaden their horizons.
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I looked in the candy aisle of the local grocer.....

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! ! ! ! ! ! !....all of the touristy places where the British hang out...

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...Mexico!





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I kind of blacked out here.
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The BIG Night!
The venue: my living room. Shadow puppet stage all set.
TV tuned into all the red carpet action
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99 cent pizzas cooking in the oven....

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no one came!
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I did get some hate mail though...