Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Cheddar Beer Flavored Kettle Chips

Frat boys and NASCAR fans everywhere have spoken and beer has officially joined the ranks of America's favorite snack. Actually, next to pot brownies, I couldn't think of a more obvious evolution for someone who has the "munchies."
Normally I wouldn't have given these a second look. I mean, just take a gander at the bag. Old timey font, and, oooooh, what a lovely brown color...make that two shades of brown. Mmmmm, Rusetty! Wait...what's that? Cheddar Beer?
If I didn't absolutely love the crisp greasy taste of a kettle cooked chip, I would have needed a playtex wipe to clean up the oily discharge in the aisle brought on by my laughter at such hootenanny. Instead, I grabbed the bastards and headed for the check out. This will either be the best thing ever or quite honestly the most revolting concept since Clamato juice.
See, it's right there on the packaging. A match made in HEAVEN. The thick paper bag was tightly sealed and took a good 3 minutes to open before I managed to finally rip it open, which gave it the authentic experience of trying to open a beer bottle without a bottle opener. The whiff of potatoey mustiness that escaped the bag combined with the heady scent of what smelled like sour cheddar made me rethink my constitution towards finding these even remotely delicious.
!Upon first taste, I couldn't detect any discernible "beer" flavor. Or if there was, possibly it wasn't a brand of beer that I was accustomed to. But right there on the back of the bag was "natural beer flavor" including "beer solids" such as barley malt, hops and yeast. After this, I convinced myself that I could definitely taste "something" but my mind was mostly thinking it was something sour and yeasty and totally reminded my why I detest beer outright, mostly for knowing how it's made. A tour of the Budweiser factory in St. Louis made sure I was scarred for life.
All in all, unless you like "eating" your beer, I'd pass on these or wait until they come out with something a little more exciting and fun like in a lollipop or ice cream.


Gashapon said...

You HAVE to try the Buffalo Bleu flavored kettle crisps. They are flipping amazing! Available at Whole Foods.

JohnnyBerry™ said...

Now, it is not fair to lump those lovely frat boys in with the NASCAR folks...

That is racism, or something like that!