Saturday, June 18, 2005

I rate the Lawyers - read the small print

Finding a nice place downtown has become harder and harder. Prices have skyrocketed in the past few years and just as you stumble upon a really neat property you find that it has been turned into - a law office. Trash office. lamp office. trash office. fire office. homeless office. single family dwelling....just kidding, law office!!!

All this got me thinking that there must be a hell of a lot of dog bites happening in this quickly exploding petree dish. Notwithstanding I can't go one afternoon of quality white trash TV on TBS without getting a cornucopia of law firm ads directed at us mid afternoon bad credit, hot pocket eating cretans. They've almost become like celebrities. Which one would you choose? Who has the best hair? The choices are near endless. I decided to rate my favorites in no particular order.

Morgan Colling & Gilbert. The classic. Grandaddy of them all. Run in fear if you get a call from this (now) graying man baby. He literally looks like he would have at four years old. In the eight years that I have lived here I have seen him age and become, um...fuller? Sometimes John Morgan will step away from the Vioxx claim ads and devote an entire commercial to how we should love the people we have now before its too late. Sisterhood of the travelling pants!!! Wooo!! Now just called Morgan & Morgan, I'm guessing Colling & Gilbert had a Diana Ross moment.

Mark Nation (The Nation Law Firm). Used to be a law enforcement officer so you know that he knows how to cheat the system good. Plus big ears and six feet know what they say; he's really tall with big ears!

Binder & Binder - the twin brothers with obsurd country pimp hats (one complete with feather!) The Bob and Harvey Weinstein of the Law set. One is seen, one is never heard. I like the announcer's voice in this commercial.

Piercy J. Stakelum. Mmmm, I think I bought Stakelums one time in the frozen aisle at Publix. The GQ lawyer in Orlando. Young and Attractive, he lists dog bites as a specialty.

Bogin Munns & Munns. Just plain fun to say. Let's do it together. Bogin Munns and Muns. You know how it is, if it's the last law advertisement you hear before going out the door, you'll be saying it all day! The Munns. You just have to love a guy whose name is Ranier. His brother's name is Rulon. Website makes no mention of this mysterious Bogin fella.

In no way do the aforementioned persons or entities have any affiliation with the Skinny Tie Report or its author. Any references made in regards to the aforementioned entities are made in good fun and bear no malice or harm towards their persons. I'm sure they are all really nice people.


jedmunds said...

Hey. I've been a fan of your blog for some time now. Just wanted to stop by and give you kudos. Thanks for your entertaining efforts.

betamike said...

Thank you very much. I do it for the children